Poignantly Pondering - A brief tale of love and heartbreak

28/03/06

Poignantly Pondering - A brief tale of love and heartbreak

Before you know it, it happens. You fall headfirst, stumbling into the stupendous stupour that some call love.
The outdoors seem airier, the sun lighter, birds in trees sing Mozart, and even the neighbourhood stray smiles at you while lifting his leg before catching a whizz on the post-office delivery truck.
Time passes, but it seems a constant. An implacable reverie of good dreams replayed.

Then you trip facefirst, into the hot coals some call heartbreak.
Clouds thunder overhead, vultures encircle your excuse for a heart, and cracks in the pavement seem like earthquakes.
Time passes, yet it feels like a constant. The incessant pecking which Prometheus endured.
And before you know it, it happens. Your indubitable vision of love fails again, shattering your hopes, your dreams, and your heart.

[D]

Carnivalesque Protests

23/03/06

Carnivalesque Protests

Bright lights entice and coerce the unwary, the mangling of man and machine in unmitigating motion, laughter fills the dark night, and feet trod swiftly onward through the maze of amazement. William Wordsworth was shocked and horrified when he first encountered a fair, however, today the Ferris Wheels and Candy Floss of Carnivals allow for beatnik escapism from the drudge of our everyday lives.

Going to a fair in your old hometown can be a little unnerving and yet overwhelmingly exciting. Old schoolfriends, your first crush, fights fought and buried; lost kisses all come to life in your mind, recollected in the ephemeral daze of carnival. Swings and ships swish through the air as do the sounds of joy and exhilaration emanating from the contraptions. Sweet treats placate little children and their overbearing parents.

Yet in the midst of the thronging crowds, in a world packed with nostalgia and sentiment, eyes and experiences connect reminiscing on relationships that could have been, and shouldn't have been. Young girls and boys sway with the movements of their unbridled hearts toward desire and desolation.

Shit! Now look at what I've gone and done, this was supposed to be a perfectly ordinary insight into the fair I'd visited and yet it has become fettered by the fancy-free flux of my feelings.

I should stop writing about love, ah fuck it, I don't think I have the heart to.

[D]

The Tale of a Lost Night

19/12/05

The Tale of a Lost Night

Outside, the security guard loses his sanity, the barking of dogs hounding him with spectres of monsters and nightmares.
Inside, a light flickers waywardly, unevenly distributing the infringing darkness.

Outside, my eyes droop toward slumber s l o w l y.
Inside, my heart shifts on its orbit, and my mind shuffles incessantly towards her with the passing of another night.

The Rubicon Cube

13/12/05

The Rubicon Cube.

The other day my parents got back from a flea market, and my Dad toyed with something in his hand. He held it up, a box-like structure lacking any special lustre or immediate appeal. His concentration was snatched away by this ostensibly magic tool as he tinkered with it for hours, implacably. He finally grunted something under his breath and went to bed, drunk. I quickly abducted the inanimate object with swift stealth and hurried off to my room, with my newfound ‘precious.’ It seemed so colourful yet dastardly disappointing, how could this grab your attention so indelibly? So I set off to work, uh, play with this souvenir of the 80s (I wonder if it comes with a free mullet and Hi-Tops?) with 99 Red Balloons aurally scratching the top of my head.

Interesting, engrossing, absorbing, fucking irritating. Those are the words which sum up those frustratingly fun feelings you get inside while trying to figure the bastard out. After spending what was probably an eternity, but felt like a couple of seconds hacking away at its enigmatic soul, the unthinkable happened.

In a myriad colours and maculations the cube’s lower half shattered at my expense. I saw and felt it then, the unnerving feeling of a puzzle you haven’t solved shattering before you got the chance to unlock its oracular mystery. A guilt hung over my head, what was my Dad going to think? I shuffled along picking up the pieces of the puzzle and ran to my parent’s room throwing the unidentifiable blobs onto their table, then skulked off into the clutches of sleep.

The dude that my Dad bought it from probably had a million of them from a toy store he used to own during the 80s and now he’s trying to sell them off to nostalgic or unwitting customers. I plan to go to his stall and give him a piece of my mind; maybe I’ll buy one from him. I can’t go back now, the Rubicon has been crossed.

But then again, there are more important things in life than consuming your mind with a girl you never really knew in the first place.
(D)

Poignantly Pondering - What happened to love?

08/09/05

Poignantly Pondering - What happened to love?

Love used to be gentle hugs on snow-frosted Christmas evenings and heartfelt conversations at candle-lit dinners. It used to be late-night drives, under the stars, to places where trysts were forged, love used to be iridescent sunrises on the beach and content heads on the sand.

What happened?

Love has either disappeared, found a new meaning in the ever-changing dictionary of modern times, or is taking a small break while we search fruitlessly for it. Love in the new age seems to be losing its impetus becoming, along with marriage and relationships, more disposable than one-ply toilet paper. As we become enamoured with narcissism and social conditioning encourages transience, love loses its place because it's supposed to be everlasting. Romanticising history is probably because of this - if the demise of love is inevitable, we might as well remember something so beautiful and unique. Economics are the future so money can buy you love, but it cannot make you love. We have become so obsessed with finding love but so pre-occupied with sex that our lives become nothing more than constant conflict. We yearn for love (of all types) but the media shove their ideology of sex down our throats on a daily basis. With a partner, love and sex should be co-related but we have separated them. Sex is great, but love and sex together are amazingly explosive. What's pancakes and cinnamon without the sugar? These days it seems cornerstones of relationships have been abandoned. Women are like,"Virginity. What's that? Let's shag," and men think, "Chivalry. Huh? Let's fuck." How sad. Yet love exists in various kinds and it seems scarce in all these types.

Since when was love storming into a country and killing thousands of civilians in their own interest, since when was love cruelly raping a naive child, since when was love confining and starving your pet dog in harsh quarantine, and is it love if you neglect your true character to fit others' expectations. Love seems to be the missing link in our evolution. We dropped it along the way and haven't been able to fully recover it. I hope that some miniscule chance (even if it is smaller than shrunken midgets) exists for it to be regained to the ideal we held dear.

Excuse my pessimism, however. I tend to see things negatively, like a photographer in a dark room. Keep on looking for love, though, or unless I've got this whole rant horribly wrong - enjoy your star-lit dinner on the banks of the Rhine with your soulmate tonight.
[D]